Thursday, April 26, 2012

Sepik Crud

The region where we live in Papua New Guinea is called the Sepik. It is a big, hot, humid swamp. It breeds lots of weird diseases. This rash is affectionately know as the "Sepik Crud". It is known as this and not as its scientific or medical name because know one knows its scientific or medical name. Nobody knows what it is or how to treat it, but missionaries here have been getting for years.

I now have this rash all the way up my left arm and on my stomach. It itches. It burns. It looks disgusting.  I have put every cream under the sun on this thing and it just keeps on spreading. It woke me up in the middle of the night last night  and said,  "Just give up with the creams already. I will leave when I darn well please, oh and my name is Donald by the way, nice the meet you. " ***There is a chance this may have been a dream***

So, I just thought that since Donald was now a part of my life I should introduce him to you. I mean it would be rude not to right???

Monday, April 23, 2012


I just thought I would post this picture today just in case you thought I was kidding or exaggerating in my post yesterday. This kid is CRAZY!!! How does she think of this stuff? She is only 19 months old!

Can I order that baby sized straight jacket now???

Also, you should know that I am now on twitter. Please notice the little box at the top right. I did that all by myself, thank you. No applause necessary! You could follow me on twitter if you can figure out how. I have not gotten that far yet. Sorry bout that.

Sunday, April 22, 2012


Hi. Remember me? I write this blog. Sometimes.
I have sort of been MIA lately because as you know from 2 posts ago, we have formed a tribal church planting team. So now, 3 nights a week we are meeting together to discuss lots of stuff that will hopefully help us in the future. I will sum those meetings up with a one word quote from Will Ferrell playing George W. Bush, "Strategery".

I have been busy with that, but also busy with this...

Please note that she has pushed the chair over to this shelf so she could climb on it and get all the things down that I have purposefully placed out of her reach (or so I thought). Also this week she has discovered that she can pull stuff off the top of my kitchen counters when I am cooking, like plates full of naan bread, and extra large kitchen knives. She is into EVERYTHING. Her destruction is as ubiquitous as Angelina Jolie's leg at the Oscars! She drinks toilet bowl cleaner and jumps into swimming pools without warning (thank you inventor of arm floaties!).

So, I have very little time to do anything else, but watch this little precious angel like a sniper watches Kim Jong Il Kim Jong Un. I need H.E.L.P!!

Any moms out there who have little dare devil destructos who would like to give me advice I would gladly take it...even if it is a link to baby sized straight jackets. I am one more entire-toilet-paper-roll-in-the-toilet-bowl away from that step!

***Before you judge me for taking her picture before getting her down, please note that this is the sixth, that's right, SIXTH time I have pulled her down from this position this weekend. I am pretty sure she has this mastered. 

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Why I avoid Pinterest...

Yeah, I know Pinterest is the new thing, but I very quickly learned that this particular new thing is not for me. Mainly because all the cute, crafty, tasty, beautiful, awesomeness that can be created and then pinned up is not available to me in this country. (I live in Papua New Guinea, in case you were unaware of that. I may or may not have mentioned it in this blog)

Also, because I am just not that mom. I am not the cute crafty mom. I am also not the delicious treat maker mom. I am the mom who likes to watch TV with her kids. **cue gasp** I know, I know, I am that mom. I can sing every word to every song from every Disney Princess movie ever made, and I may have a few choreographed moves to those songs as well.  You can judge me if you want, but when I try to make crafts with my kids I end up with glitter in my hair, one kid’s eyeball glued shut, and yelling at everyone for not having fun, BECAUSE CRAFTS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUN, DADGUMMIT!

So, I have figured out that when my kids want to make crafts, I hand them the pipe cleaners and fuzzy balls and glue and tell them to “go at it” and watch as they have lots of fun creating whatever they want. And I smile and hug them and tell them that I totally know it is a butterfly when what I actually think it looks like is an anatomically correct alien. Then I question whether or not we need to have a talk about all the naked kids we see at the beach…

And finally I avoid pinterest because the one time I did check that thing out I was brainwashed into making this monstrosity….

It is called a “picaken”. It is an entire pie inside of a cake. I made it, then ate one piece and immediately gained 7 pounds, and swore off pinterest forever.

The End.