Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Prayer of the Paranoid Mom

Tomorrow 3N1 and myself along with a bunch of other missionaries are going into a tribal location to see about the possibility of us working in this area. There is already one couple working there, so we are going to spend the night with them and chat it up. We hope and pray that the Lord would make it clear to us if this is where He wants us to serve or not. Right now we are pretty pumped up about this possibility.

We will have to travel by plane then helicopter to get there. How does a woman with a fear of heights and a fear of flying get onto a helicopter and fly into the middle of the jungle. Through the grace of God for sure!

The big kicker, though is that I have to leave my kids for the night. I know I should be thinking, "Woo-hoo, freedom!!!" but I am a paranoid mom who thinks that if I leave my kids for one night and get on a death trap helicopter then it will crash and their father and I will die. Before you judge me, please know that I had this fear before we left the good ole' U.S. of A. Whenever 3N1 and I went out on a date I always had a tiny fear that we would not come back home. And I know I am not the only mom with this fear.  After all the moms I have talked to about this, I really should form some sort of club. Only out meeting place would have to be the planet Earth because I am pretty sure that every mom in the world has this same fear. But I have learned that I just have to trust God with my kids futures and that if their father and I die then God can work good things out of that and out of their lives. In all honesty and joking aside though, my absolute biggest fear is that if we die our kids will blame God and rebel against Him. And I seriously cannot think of anything more tragic than my daughters not following Jesus Christ.

So, I decided that I should just write them a little note- just in case and maybe that will ease my fears a little. Somebody let them read this when they get like 12 or 13.

Dear Girls,

Sorry I'm dead. Sorry Dad is dead. Please don't blame God. He loves you and wants only what is good for you. He can take the most horrible circumstances in life and make beautiful things out of them. The ONE THING your mom and dad wanted for you in your life is for you three to follow Jesus. With your whole heart and life. Read the Bible everyday- not because you have to, but because it is an amazing story of the love of God for His people, and that includes you. Read books like Radical, Crazy Love, and Kisses from Katie. Also read every single thing Elisabeth Elliot ever wrote. Beth Moore is great too, even if she does have big hair. Give Jesus every single part of your life and everything else will fall into place (Matt 6:33). And when bad things happen (and they will because we live in a sinful, fallen world) remember that this world is temporary. It is not your real home. This life is not your real life. It is only a poor representation of the life that you will have in eternity with Christ (1 Cor. 13:12). Actually, you should remember this in good times too. In times of prosperity think about the unseen (2 Cor 4:18), the eternal and invest your life and your resources in those things (Matt 6:20).

If you must rebel, rebel against the world and not God. If you feel the need for tattoos and piercings and crazy hair color do it- but do it all for the glory of God. ***just a side note- if you do get a tattoo think very carefully about what you are getting and where you want to put it on your body. You may think you are just getting a small tattoo that you chose from the Bible in a place that is easily concealed because you work in a Southern Baptist Church, but 5 years later a tattoo in that spot will be labeled a "tramp stamp" and it doesn't matter that you were a virgin until your wedding night, that is what people call it when they see it, and there is nothing you can do about it.***

Please know, that your father and I love you and think you are the three most beautiful girls on the planet. Hands down. But whatever you do, DO. NOT. ENTER. ANY. BEAUTY. PAGEANTS. EVER.

Ok, those are the basics, other than we love you three more than life itself! You three are the greatest things to ever happen to us. EVER!

With all our love,
Mom and Dad

P.S. I am serious about the beauty pageants!


  1. hahaha...this rocks!!! and totally...i think about dying and my kids being left parentless quite a bit!!

  2. Yeah, Brooke! You are VP of the club, now!

  3. Jessi, just yesterday morning when I woke and was in bed, contemplating my drive to the office in a blinding thunderstorm along I-20 where people think it's the Autobahn in Germany, I had a fleeting thought that I might not get back home. You just keep trusting Jesus with all your might and you'll see your faith grow in leaps and bounds. The nice part is that your girls will see that in you, too, and THAT is the best foundation a mother can give.

  4. wow, you had me laughing and crying at the same time... and i'm not even PMSing. :)