Friday, April 24, 2015

The Rat Pee Diet

Yes, we are alive in the tribe. Our email hasn’t worked since we got here, so there has been no way for me to blog or write any of you back. We can receive email, and we truly appreciate everyone who has written us to check in, and we have sent multiple responses to all of you telling you how wonderful you are and how much we love you! But…you just haven’t received them yet. You may never receive them- who knows. They may have been eaten by the invisible monster that plucks radio waves out of the sky and devours our data for breakfast.


I am sending this from my co-workers email address that is currently- as I am typing this- working.


Anyway, so we made it in just fine. The flight in was good and I was only slightly terrified and not in full-blown panic attack mode, so that was a huge answer to prayer for all who were praying. Thank you!!!


We came back in to a wonderfully clean house thanks to my coworkers and a lot of broken stuff thanks to the jungle. Our email, our radio, our generator, and then not soon after arrival, our front door knob (we were actually stuck in our house for a while). Also pigs and humans have been using the spring that brings water to our house as a toilet. So life has been interesting to say the least. Actually, it has just been pretty typical tribal life. I am covered in bug bites and have already had one skin infection.  So yeah…right back where we left off. We were definitely annoyed at all this stuff but not surprised. The jungle is just welcoming us back with an embrace in its giant arms that don’t know their own strength. It tells us it loves us to death and then proceeds to slowly crush the life out of us. Sometimes I call it Lenny as a term of endearment and sometimes I imagine shooting it in the back of the head.


But the one good thing that happened with all this negative is that I discovered an amazing new diet. When I was in the U.S. (um that was a month ago, people. ONE MONTH AGO I WAS IN AMERICA) and trying to lose all the weight I gained from large Sonic Dr. Peppers, I saw all kinds of ideas for diets and weight loss. Most were ineffective, but this one works I promise! So feel free to make up your own picture since I can’t add one over email and pin it all you like. Are you ready to get skinny?  Ok Here goes:


You leave your house for a long period of time, and make sure there is a way for rats to get in.


Next, make sure they have access to your oven. They will live in it for a while like it’s Barbie’s dream house and pee all over it.


Finally, move back into your house and every time you cook a delicious and fattening meal for your family you will have stood over that oven for an hour smelling rat pee and lose your appetite. You won’t be able to even look at the food you cooked, much less eat it. It works wonders!!! I would add before and after pictures, but once again…I can’t do that over email.


There you go. A fast and easy way to loose weight with no exercise involved! You’re welcome!

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