Sunday, October 27, 2013

More Random News

Here is some more random news from Hewa-

1. I did not kill anyone (yet). Emos, the man who was bleeding from every orifice of his body received the medicine we sent him, did not have an allergic reaction, and is doing much better. He is reportedly on his way here, but is hiking very slowly as he is still really weak. We are very thankful that he survived whatever illness he had, and are praying he gets here in time to hear the Gospel message that our teachers will be presenting in a few weeks.

2. There is a pig in a trash bag in my fridge. The pig is dead, just in case you needed clarification on that. His little hoof is sticking out from the bag and it feels like he is waving at me every time I open my fridge. So, I have named him Claud. Although I find him very polite and terribly quiet, I will be very happy when he leaves my house and goes into the ground tomorrow to be cooked. He is taking up all my space and does not smell great. Some of our friends brought him by last night because they wanted to wait for the other half of a huge hunting party to return (it would be rude to eat this pig without everyone present). We were glad to house Claud for the night because we have seen and smelled the several day old pigs that they sometimes bring back to the village to cook. Unfortunately, they usually offer us some of those pigs as well and we have to find a way to discreetly get rid of it. I have on more than one occasion, stuffed the rotten meat into a ziploc bag and snuck out after dark to give it to some family who I new wouldn't rat me out. It is mutually beneficial as they get more meat (it does not seem to bother their iron stomachs) and I don't have to feel guilty about feeding it to my cats and chickens. Anyway, it was fun for us to be able to help by putting this one in our fridge and know that we can eat him without risking botulism. 

3. In an ironic turn of events, our new tree kangaroo, Lewis is a racist. As you may have read in the previous "Random News" post we were concerned that having given the first tree kangaroo the name Wallis George he would turn out to be racist or people would think that we were and that was disconcerting. This time we chose a less offensive name, but inspire of that this little baby tree kangaroo freaks out every time one of our Melanesian friends gets near him. Maybe he remembers that they killed his mom? Who knows, but we plan on enrolling him in several diversity seminars ASAP. 

4. It is wild fowl egg season right now. What this means is that everyone in the village disappears into the jungle to collect extremely large eggs from nests built on the ground. The eggs are huge but just taste like a regular chicken egg…except when you crack the egg open and there is a small fetus inside. It probably tastes similar to chicken fetus too, although I cannot confirm that since I have eaten neither. Maybe my Chinese friends and my Hewa friends can get together and compare notes and get back to me on that one. The amazing thing about these extremely large eggs is that they come from a bird that is not much bigger than a chicken. I cannot wrap my mind around how this bird lays this huge egg. The only thing that comes to mind when I try to think about it is the word, "episiotomy" and that can't be right, so I just move on. (I am sorry, once again to any men who read this blog…I am of course talking about you again, Aaron Jex. How is America by the way?) 

OK, you are now all up-to-date on all that is going on in one of the most remote places in the world. Everyone will be jealous that you got the news before them. You can thank me later with emails of praise and adoration. 

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