Three Month Countdown

I haven't posted in a while because I had this really weird thing going on with my fingers that was causing me a lot of pain. It hurt to pretty much do anything- including type. We are now on the three month countdown until we leave for our furlough and I have made it my goal to not have anyone in our family have to fly out of the tribe for medical reasons, so I was trying to be really careful. (who wants to take bets that we actually meet that goal?)

My fingers are much better now, so I can type all I want. I don't know if you are excited or disappointed, but here goes...

While my fingers left me unable to write, we had some very sweet and amazing friends come in and help us do a bunch of projects around our house so that we can just focus on learning language these last few months. I am now the proud owner of some beautiful kitchen cabinets and drawers after 15 months of storing my kitchen utensils and tupperware in cardboard boxes. 

Raymond and Odessa Dunwoody are from Northern Ireland and they run the guesthouse for missionaries here in Goroka, PNG. They are an amazing couple who love and minister to everyone they come across, but they have been especially caring to us. As you know we have had a lot of medical issues since we've been here, so we have to go to Goroka a lot because that is where the missionary medical clinic is stationed. Odessa and Raymond are always there to welcome us with a hot comforting meal and place to stay. They treat our kids like they are their own and our kids love them dearly. Raymond also happens to be a very gifted carpenter, so they agreed to come in here and help us with our house. Raymond built my kitchen cabinets, bathroom cabinets, and did a number of other projects around the house and Odessa helped me with all my sewing projects. On top of all that we had a great time just hanging out with them and listening to the stories of their amazing life in the beautiful Irish lilt that I now secretly try to imitate when no one is around. It was also nice to be able to just relax and use our own Southern accents without worry since all Americans sound alike  to them. 

When the day came for them to go back home we were all very sad as we realized that this would be the last time we would see them for a year. We leave for America in May and won't come back to PNG until January 2015, and as I said before we don't plan on going to Goroka again before that. There were lots of tears all around as we said goodbye and it brought me to the realization that we are getting ready to go through that rough phase of too many goodbyes all over again. While sometimes I physically ache to see my family and friends back home, I will also really miss the friends and new family that we have made here. Our co-workers and the Hewa people especially. In fact, we will only get a couple months with the Kopf family between the time they return from America and we head out. And when we come back, we will only have a couple of months with the Dunn family before they leave. It is the vicious circle. 

Sigh. This is the life we lead. It is all part of the strange package that is missionary life, and definitely something that every missionary goes through. But…that doesn't make it any easier. Our hearts are torn between two places and people living all over the globe. It makes us very much look forward to heaven when we can be with all the people we love- all our brothers and sisters in Christ at one time and one place. And we will never be separated again. 

Language Learning

I know my last two posts have been a little depressing. Truthful...but kinda sad. Although we have had a tough year some great things did happen this year.

I mean we got an airstrip for cryin' out loud! It isn't exactly the same as getting a Super Wal-Mart near your house, but for us it was along the same lines.

Here is a pic the pilot took on his way in....

Without that airstrip we were seriously remote. No roads. No navigable rivers. Helicopters and legs were the only forms of transportation.

Huge. Major Praise for us and the entire village!

I think the second greatest thing that happened this year was getting our first language evaluation at the beginning of December. We were very worried that between building that airstrip and all the difficulties we faced we were not accomplishing the job we were really supposed to be doing in this point of our ministry, and that is language learning. Our tests went very well, however. I was right about where I was supposed to be and John Michael was ahead of where he was supposed to be. So we were very encouraged that somehow, someway, in spite of all the chaos and setbacks (and in spite of the fact that someone in our house is always sick or injured,) God was helping us learn this language.

For me, it has been especially difficult since my co-worker, Susan, left. She was giving me lessons in the grammatical structure of the language and helping me get stories from the ladies who are mostly monolingual. She is an amazing teacher, and I don't think I would have learned anything without her. Fortunately, she left me a big folder of things to study and memorize and I was able to work on that these last few months.

I do have two Hewa ladies that help with language as much as they can. It is really hard to learn a language without both parties having a common language to act as the "middle man." Since the Hewa ladies do not speak Melanesian Pigin very well, it is hard to try to explain to them what I am looking for in ways of help.

These two do an amazing job though of taking the limited Pigin they have and teaching me the Hewa language. I am very thankful for the time and effort they put into trying to help me when both are very busy taking care of little ones and providing food for their families. They are both, in fact, pregnant right now as well and will be having babies in the next couple months.

Emiyas is Susan's best friend, and was therefore trained by Susan before she left. She is an amazing Christian lady who is brilliant. She is a great language helper!

Tesi has some of the best Pidgin for a lady in the tribe. She really enjoys teaching me, although she catches herself teaching me the wrong dialect sometimes!

So many of the ladies are excited and willing to practice speaking with me even if they don't speak Pidgin and can't answer any questions I might have. I am truly grateful for their willingness to take time out of their very difficult lives and help me learn to communicate with them. It makes me feel like they really want to communicate and have a relationship with me.

John Michael has had difficulty finding the "one" in a language helper since his first language helper (and best friend in the village) died. But, he is working with a few different guys of all ages and each of them are very helpful and eager to teach. They were even willing to allow him to go deep into the jungle on an egg hunting trip and spend two nights in a tiny primitive shelter with them and their families.

Shelter JMG stayed in on his trip. They added the part on the far left when he and another guy got there to make room for them to sleep.

So there you go. It hasn't been all bad. We know that the airstrip and any language progress at all are miracles from God! We are thankful that he sees us and knows our needs and pours out His lavish unfailing love on us even though we don't deserve it!

So long 2013

As I mentioned in my last post, 2013 was a rough year. I still have a hard time scrolling through my iphoto which is full of pictures of the people we loved and lost this year...

A newborn baby girl that (in spite of Susan giving her CPR for an hour) did not survive

Nosem, the boy who committed suicide on July 4th.

Etike, the boy who drowned, with his family (top left in the yellow shirt with red collar and beautiful smile)

Atipz, our sweet friend who committed suicide on August 29th.

Unfortunately, we have so many heart wrenching pictures of this young man because we spent the most time with him. Like this one of him playing with our daughters...

 

 

And the absolute worst picture of all- Atipz digging the grave of Nosem. Two months later someone was digging his own grave...

 

There were so many times this year that we were overwhelmed with grief and loss and confusion. So many days that we had to pray ourselves out of bed in the morning. So many days that we had to remind each other to just breathe.

But each day defined by pain was also drenched in God's tender mercies and loving comfort. Every tragedy brought us closer to our co-workers and closer to our Hewa friends. The cords in the rope of shared suffering are substantial and not easily broken. And I know that is what God wants for all of us. I know He took this ugliness and made something new and beautiful with it. I was once again assured that I can trust all things in His hands even grief, loss, and death.

So I think we as a community were happy to say goodbye to 2013. And the crazy, happy, silly, and very very dirty New Year celebration was just what we all needed to let go of the burdens this past year dumped on our shoulders and look forward to a new phase in our lives and relationships together. To look forward to what God has for all of us in 2014, no matter what that is.

This is a small glimpse of what that looked like...

Thank you Lord that there is a time for joy and a time for pain. And no matter which time we are experiencing, you are there with us.

Charlie Brown Christmas

We just spent our third Christmas in PNG. 

The first Christmas here was relatively easy. We still lived in town and had internet and were able to Skype with our parents. Of course we missed our families, but at that point our homesickness wasn't overwhelming and we had lots of Western families to celebrate with. 

The second Christmas we were in the tribe and were celebrating in our very own home for the first time in many years. The newness of our life and ministry in Hewa was fun and exciting and helped ward off some of the longing for our families.

This year was a little different. John Michael was stricken with some sort of stomach sickness for two weeks. He has been on three different medicines with very little improvement. Mia had malaria, and Mattie and Mia's mystery rashes had come back (the rashes we previously thought were scabies, but apparently are not actually scabies and can't get rid of completely no matter what we try). On top of all that we are all just worn out. This has definitely been a stressful year. 

Six deaths in our small village, including two suicides. 

A cancer scare.

A five year old with a broken arm that still hasn't healed right. 

Malaria, cellulitis, and we recently found out that our oldest child is allergic to the sun. The Sun. And we live almost as close to it as a human can. 

Yeah, we're tired. And we were having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. John Michael and I were both a little moody on Tuesday and ended up arguing with each other. We are not big gift givers. We only really give each other gifts if it is something cool and unique…like a soccer scarf from Germany or a personal letter written from Elisabeth Elliot. This year was no different. I wanted my gift from him to be not having to cook on Christmas and he wanted his gift from me to be a nice big traditional Christmas dinner. It is like "The Gift of the Magi" in reverse. 

We woke up yesterday barely speaking, and I begrudgingly started baking. Our kids on the other hand were so excited they couldn't stand it and spent all day crafting gifts for all of us and our coworkers from pretty much nothing. After I pulled the blueberry muffins (this was a special treat because I found frozen blueberries in Goroka when I was out with my foot) that I was preparing for breakfast the next day out of the oven I looked over and saw a huge mess of cut up paper, glue, red string, crayons and markers all over my table. I also heard my three year old singing "Jingo Bewws" and I just had to laugh. Kids have the amazing ability to rapidly melt the Grinch right out of you. Christmas day is the highlight of their existence and their excitement is more contagious than SARS on an airplane.

We spent the rest of the day preparing to have our coworkers over for all the kids to sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus, eat cake and exchange presents. By the time they came over and the house was filled with five kids- seven and under there was nothing that any of us could feel but joy. By the end of the night our Christmas spirit definitely returned when the we recited Luke 2:10-11 as a family and remembered that the day God humbly came to earth as a tiny baby is worth celebrating no matter where we are, who we are with, and what we are given.

This morning we woke up to a cool mountain morning and hearts full of Christmas fun. It ended up being one of our best days as a family. The kids spent the day playing with their new toys. John Michael spent the day telling me that I really didn't have to make a big meal, and I spent the day telling him, no really I want to. I won the "argument" and we ate roast and potatoes, green beans, fresh corn from the garden, biscuits, and leftover cake before he went outside to show "The Nativity Story" movie to the Hewa believers. It has become a tradition that they really enjoy.

Overall, I would say that even though we got off to a rocky start with everything seeming to go wrong- just like Charlie Brown, this ended up being one of our best Christmases yet. And the thought of getting to spend the next one with our families in the States makes it even sweeter. 

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas,

The Tribal Wife

P.S. I am really not doing any cooking next year. A heads up to our families- I will be the one bringing the oversized can of Christmas shaped shortbread cookies with read and green sprinkles to any and all gatherings. God Bless America and its endless supply of previously prepared and processed foods for any occasion!  

Anniversary

Today is my anniversary. I got married on this day nine years ago. John Michael and I woke up today and gave each other high fives for making it this long and then went about our normal routines until…we found out that one of our church leaders was getting married this afternoon! It was very fun and exciting for us to attend a Hewa wedding on our own anniversary. 

When I think about all the preparations that went into our special day nine years ago, and how far in advance we let people know with save-the-dates and invitations, it is comical to hear word-of-mouth in the morning that there will be a wedding later in the afternoon.

 

Before the Gospel came here there really wasn't a "wedding".  There was just an agreement between two families and a time where the groom's family tied up pigs and clipped money to stakes on some neutral ground and the bride's family came and collected their share of the loot. The bride and groom were no where to be seen. It really wasn't about them anyway. It was simply an exchange of goods. 

Now the people have decided that marital exchanges between believers should be different, so there is not really a focus on the payment, but a focus on bringing the bride into the family line of the husband. But the husband and wife still don't get anywhere near each other because that would just be scandalous. No one talks about the two people getting married and all the preliminary discussions are done in secret to keep from embarrassing everyone with such talk.  At the end of the wedding a female member of the groom's family comes and takes the wife by the hand and leads her to where his family is sitting to symbolize that she is now leaving her family to join his. 

For me, the wedding guest, it meant a lot of garden work. The ladies told me that there would be a mumu (cooking a lot of food in the ground with hot stones) after the ceremony, so I had to quickly get to work to add my gift to the feast. I spent the afternoon in the garden digging out root vegetables, and by the time I had an appropriate amount for a village feast (a huge bag full) I was sweaty and covered in mud. When John Michael came out we laughed about how I dressed for our special day…and how great I smelled too. We carried food up the very muddy trail and came home while it cooked all day in the ground. At about 5:30 in the evening our neighbors came to tell us it was time to go back up the same muddy trail to witness this wedding. 

It was a sweet and fun time for the whole village and at the end we forced the bride and groom to take a picture with us as we explained to them that we thought it was special that they got married on our anniversary (we first had to explain what an anniversary is). They were totally embarrassed but humored us anyway by actually standing next to each other in the picture with us. 

As we walked back down the sloppy trail to our house in the rain with our three kids I couldn't help but smile at where our nine years together has lead us. I quietly thanked the Lord that He put a call and dream in both of our hearts and allowed us to experience such a unique and special life together. And I thanked Him for allowing us to celebrate the day He made as a family by witnessing Him create a new Hewa family. 

I think this has been my favorite anniversary yet.